Patience Makes Perfect

Amish Friendship Bread is probably one of the easiest, and most delicious, bread recipes to bake. Delicious not only because of the sweetness and spices that go into it, but also because of the care and patience that require the recipe to work.

Made with simple ingredients and even simpler instructions, friendship bread is a simple way to tell someone you love them, tell them you care, or tell them you were thinking about them. The recipe makes “starters” for the baker to give away to friends, hence the name of the bread. It is very easy to make small, tasty samples and then give the starters to friends and family so they may taste the amazing bread and continue the chain of friendship.

Just before my graduation from high school, my mother received a starter kit for Friendship Bread, along with a note, from one of her good friends. Being too busy at the time to make the bread (ironically enough) I decided I would make it for her. I read the instructions and followed them each day: smoosh the bag, add milk and sugar, squish the bag, no metal spoons or bowls, do not refrigerate. After reading the instructions, I started on the note. It was a page-long, hand written note from the heart. My mother’s friend was reminding my mom of the patience it took to raise me, to help me through school, and to help me with the transition from high school to college. The note finished by saying to remember this patience when making the bread, and to let the few minutes of taking care of the batter each day remind her of the times she had to be diligent and patient with me. I know this note was meant for mother, but reading it brought hot tears to my eyes. I couldn’t help but remember all the times my mom had been there for me: had held me hand, stayed up late to help me finish a project, drive me to school after missing the bus. I’m sure none of these things were on the top of her to-do list but she did them anyway. She has always been there for me.

So as I was making the bread I remembered all the times my mom had been patient with me even if I hadn’t been completely patient with her. Times we had fought over something stupid such as not getting to hang out with a friend or not being able to buy the latest color of Converse. Her begging me to do homework and not wait until the last minute to get projects done. Me begging her to let me stay up late to watch TV or let me go to the mall with friends. We both did things the other did not appreciate but somehow we managed to solve our problems and learn to deal. Learning patience is something I have definitely learned from my mom.

She has taught me that patience requires work. You can’t just go along for the ride and hope everything turns out. No, you have to add your own special touches and put time and energy into the creation to make something worthwhile.

The Friendship Bread is a reflection of this philosophy. Patience and diligence are two key ingredients to making the bread a success. It must be tended to every day, whether that be adding the simple ingredients or smooshing the sweet, gooey batter in the plastic bag. It takes less than ten minutes a day to follow the instructions but it is crucial and necessary to make the recipe work. If not, the whole thing falls apart. Same as with any relationship. If you don’t give it your all and put forth the best effort possible it will crumble to pieces and you won’t have anything left.

However the worst part of making friendship bread is having to wait the ten days to finally bake the loaf. It is a tantalizing tease. Every time you open the plastic bag to add ingredients you get a whiff of the fermenting batter, and although it has a slightly nauseous smell, somehow it also smells extremely sweet and mouthwatering. When adding the final amounts of sugar and milk, just before baking, you can’t help but sneak a taste, and the richness of the batter almost knocks you off your feet. One tiny spoonful is enough to satisfy any sweet tooth.

As for making it your own, many people add dried fruit or nuts. Many people also lightly sprinkle the inside of the baking pan and the top of loaf with cinnamon sugar to give it that extra sweetness factor. Sugar on top of sugar. What could be better?

After the bread is in the oven and you have been smelling incredible, delectable odors for the past hour, it’s time to open the oven door and find out what you’ve created. You’ll get what you’ve put into it: either a scrumptious loaf of sugary, sweet bread or a lumpy, caved-in, mound of baked dough. The former comes from following the directions carefully and dedicating time each day to the recipe, and the latter comes from following the directions every once in a while and only when you feel like it.

If something requires patience and dedication you can’t choose when and if you commit to those qualities. They have to be there from start to finish or else the end result will never come out as planned. Would you rather have delicious bread you have to force yourself to stop eating or bread that you take one bite of and throw the rest of the loaf into the waiting wastebasket? Would you rather have a meaningful, long-lasting relationship or an unsteady one where the other person is never there for you?

It may sound strange to be relating a relationship of any sort, mother-daughter, boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife, to a recipe for bread, but the same “ingredients” apply. Diligence, hard work, dedication, and most of all....patience.

Photographs:

Morgan Moore, photographer. “IMG_3393”. Photograph. 2009. From One More Moore. http://morganmoore.typepad.com/one_more_moore/2009/02/amish-friendship-bread.html (accessed September 1, 2009)

King Arthur Flour Company, Inc. Photograph. 2009. From King Arthur Flour Company, Inc. http://www.kingarthurflour.com/shop/images/1226609672969.jpg (accessed September 1, 2009)